Beauty and Essex

The party don’t start till I walk in…ok, maybe it’s already started.

Its “feels like” 8 degrees outside, I’m dressed up (sexy, cause I'm always sexy, but not too sexy – hey I’m married now, no one to impress but the other ladies), coat, hat, scarf, purse, gloves in tow. We get to the restaurant and there is a line outside. It’s not just a -someone is holding the door for a group of people- line. It’s a – this is a club/restaurant and we want to look like even more people are here than really are- line. Or so I wish… Luckily, one of my party members had already been standing in line and was arguing with the bouncer to let her in when we walked up. They let us in, only to realize that there is nowhere to go. The place is thronged with pretty people. This seems to be a turnoff for some Yelpers, but for me… I just blend right in. We get our beeper and shimmy up to the bar. I actually did not ever go upstairs, which I’m told is just as clubby as the bottom floor, maybe even more so.

Let me talk about what happened to me at the bar. We walk up, discuss the order and I start to dive in. There are 8 of us, so I designate myself the one to push through and get a bottle of proscecco. When I’m about to dive in, two girls get up from their bar stools. WHOOPIE! So, my friend and I sit down, talk to the bar tender a bit and order our bottle. About 3 minutes later, which I’m half standing up from the bar stool to check on the bottle, I feel a shove on my back and the barstool is taken out from under me! One of the girls had returned and literally shoved me off the seat. I may not always be the nicest bar-position girl, but I would definitely never go as far as to shove someone off a seat. But hey, this is NYC. There are some bitches out there. Luckily for that girl (man I sound hard core), the beeper rings and we cancel the bottle and go to the front. Once there, we find out that they actually ring the beeper as a warning for you to close out your bar tab and your table will be ready close to eventually soon.

I probably sound like I hate Beauty and Essex, but it’s not true. Would I rush to go back? Probably not. Would I go back if I had 12 friends in town from out of state and they wanted a “taste of NY”? You betcha! This is like a step up from Buddakhan, which is my usual big-party-from-out-of-town choice because the food is good and the place is huge. At Beauty and Essex, not only did I feel cool just being there, but I felt like I was in Vegas baby! Loud music, huge space, surrounded by bachelorette parties. Sorry for partying. Or am I?

Let’s talk food. The menu was staggering and a bit overwhelming. It made me happy that there were 8 people. If I went just me and my husband, granted we would order more than normal people who care about their health and weight, we would be so upset that we didn’t get to try the 15 items we wanted.

I am so fortunate to have such wonderful girlfriends who have such insatiable appetites for life (and booze). We had the tomato tartar, yellowtail crudo, a kale and apple salad, two Jewels on toast, whipped ricotta and avocado and lemon, lobster bisque dumplings, chicken meatballs, seared tuna and some pasta that was excellent but I can’t for the life of me remember what it was made of… crispy hominy, brussel sprouts, broccolini and onion rings were our sides.

Things I would recommend out of those? ALL of the sides (ok, I didn’t have the onion rings but they looked good). Whatever hominy is – too lazy to look it up at the moment – I like it! The Kale and Apple salad was one of my favorites. I like a bitter lettuce. The dressing was tangy and acidic which made the kale even easier to eat.

The tomato tartar was probably the most interesting item we ate; it tasted just like steak tartar. They use all the same seasoning/spices. My only complaint is that I thought it was going to come out just like a meat tartar. But instead, we got little bite size tartars with a small quail egg on top. I like to crack my quail eggs over my tartar, to use the yolks as a dressing. The egg yolks were too cooked. But hey, maybe it was meant that way. It still tasted amazing. My least favorite was the lobster bisque dumplings. Hard to believe since I’m obsessed with lobster and anything fried (again with the health). I think there was just too much lemongrass. I tasted no lobster. I’m semi-scared of lobster bisque because one time at this place, I now cringe when I walk by, called Red eye Grill, on 56th and 7th, I had a terrible allergic reaction to lobster bisque. I think I was poisoned. FYI this was 2004 so don’t get all up in arms. Calm down. The post is over.

Wow, how could I leave this out… if this place wasn’t opulent enough for you, make sure you make a trip to the bathroom. I’m not sure if people hang out in the bathroom because its less crowded then the bar or they are just there for the free champagne and good sounds and good smells… good times.

Although I could barely hear any of you over the loud, thumping club music, thank you to Rehana, Heidi, Erica, Caren, Liz, Jenny and Kate for letting me choose the restaurant once again. Just call me the Queen of scoring reservations one month in advance. Do it. I dare you.

Dumont

It was a blustery day. So, we decided to travel an entire 10 miles (40 minutes by public transportation) over to Brooklyn! I’ve lived in NYC (now Hoboken) for over 7 years. I have been to Brooklyn twice. The first was for a birthday party at a beer garden, the second was to go to the Brooklyn Brewery. So, basically, to me, Brooklyn = beer. Maybe I need to branch out…

On our way to the brewery we stopped at a place that one of my friends recommended called Dumont, which was two stops off the L train. The front of the restaurant looks like any old diner, but if you venture towards to back, you are in another world. Even though it was 10 degrees outside, we chose to sit in the back patio area, which was covered (by tarps) and had plenty of heaters. Luckily for me, since I’m always freezing, we sat directly next to one of them. I still wore my scarf and hat. But, I was able to take my jacket off. I can see the back patio being a hot spot in Brooklyn in the spring/summer and even fall.

According to the waitress, the burger and the huveos rancheros are the two biggest sellers for brunch, so that made our choice easy. Now, I’m not an expert on huevos racheros, but how can you go wrong with two over easy eggs, guacamole, salsa, black beans and a lot of cheese! All the taste together was a party in my mouth. A Mexican party. I don’t handle spice very well, so I was a little worried, but the salsa was mild yet flavorful. I love black beans. The dish was very hearty, yet I would order in the summer as well, because of course, guac is better in the summer when the good avocados are out.

The burger? It was excellent. Perfectly cooked, with a nicely charred crust on the outside and plenty of flavor. The burger also came with delicious pickled red onions. Most of the patio was ordering the burger and there were lots of smiles around. It was a perfect brunch item.

Great place to hang out and meet friends. We walked to the Brewery after, which was about a mile away (and right next door to the new bowling alley). If you are going to spend a day in Brooklyn, to get away from it all, I suggest you check out Dumont as your food stop.